Felt Better for Three Minutes, Then I Got Even Prettier

Hello again, savages, Mikayla here. Matthew’s been busy getting ready for the second Tincture book to begin (June 3rd – tincturestory.com), so he’s been super lazy here at the Irregular. To showcase this, the following is an excerpt from that book of essays he wrote back in 2011, you know, the one he slapped together and told nobody about? The one he’s entirely embarrassed by? That one. It’s still available, for whatever reason, at Amazon in paperback and for the Kindle, so enjoy the first thousand or so words from chapter 1. It’s not, like, even the whole goddamn chapter! He reads part and …